Do you ever find yourself in that headspace where it feels like there’s this constant voice telling you that you’re not good enough? My hand is raised here! Because I know that feeling.
My first profession was teaching. And yes, I had times when I felt like I wasn’t good enough. Constant second-guessing over lesson plans or student achievement. I judged my own teaching practice way more than anyone else critiqued me. (At the end of this Newsletter, I share a funny and helpful story about a teaching interview – don’t miss it!)
I’ve had times when I felt like I wasn’t a good enough mom. Maybe I could have done things differently, feeling guilty about some of my choices in parenting. Comparison-itis is a real thing! And most parents (if not all) can relate.
I’ve had times when I felt like I wasn’t a good enough friend, sister, daughter, mountaineer, coach, writer, thought leader, or entrepreneur.. The list goes on and on.
But here’s the thing—I’ve learned a few tricks for quieting that devil on my shoulder!
And I can also see now how this voice of “not being good enough” has helped me create confidence in my life. Yes, seriously.
READY TO DO THE SAME? Keep reading and I will share how.
First off, learn to recognize the voice of your inner critic for what it is: Just a voice. Those moments of self-doubt and the dreadful comparisons we make, they’re all part of it.
You see, the voice of our inner critic doesn’t just appear out of thin air. It’s rooted in our past experiences, the stuff we went through growing up, and the crazy expectations society throws at us.
Once we understand where the voice of our inner critic originated, and we see the patterns created through the years, we can start pushing back and reclaiming control of our thoughts. This is where the real transformation starts.
Taking on those negative beliefs head-on is key.
It’s about flipping the script, questioning those toxic thoughts, and replacing them with something more empowering. Sounds simple, but it takes (a lot) of practice.
Here’s an example:
Say you catch yourself thinking, “I’m not smart enough to apply for that job/promotion.” or “It would be a waste of time to apply for that program.”
Stop right there.
Challenge those thoughts by asking yourself, “What makes me so sure that I’m not good enough? What sort of evidence is there?” Often, you’ll find that there’s little to no evidence backing it up. Replace these thoughts with something more empowering and try to highlight the skills and experience you have.
Here’s the story I promised you:
I was heading into an interview at Wauwatosa School District for the position of middle school art teacher. I remember questioning my abilities before I stepped into that interview: Not how you want to start the interview! And then I thought to myself, “Wait a minute. Someone has to get this job, and if it’s not me, it will be someone else. So why not it be me? Because you (me) know how good you are. This is your opportunity to step into what you know you are good at!”
Speaking to myself in that way shifted my energy from apprehensive to courageous. From un-surety to bold confidence. And you know what? Not only did I get the job, but I later became co-chair of the art department for the entire district.
Look at what I could have missed out on – and lives I would not have impacted – had I listened to my inner critic.
Now, let’s talk about self-compassion. Treating ourselves with kindness, and giving ourselves a break—that’s the secret sauce. Think about it this way: Would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself? Probably not. So why do it to yourself?
Not being kind to yourself causes more problems in our lives. My Live Boldly Podcast episode on June 12th is all about this. Make sure you come back to listen!
It’s true: Silencing our inner critic is not easy, but it’s necessary for living the life you dream about. We’ve got to recognize it, understand where it’s coming from, and then kick it to the curb. Because we deserve to live boldly, authentically, courageously, and confidently.
Let’s start today. Share your thoughts and let’s support each other on this journey to quieting our inner critics!
Looking for a motivating speaker to Make Bold Moves™ in your organization or business?
Choose from one of these topics:
- Descend to Ascend: Navigating the Corporate Landscape with Resilience, Leadership, and Vision
- Walk Through Leadership: Building High-Performing Teams That Make Bold Moves Together
- Walk Through This* Unlocking Resilience and Growth in the Face of Change
*Based on Sara’s bestselling book, Walk Through This.
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Have a beautiful day!
xo
Sara
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Spread the vibe, and as always, Live Boldly.